[Clipart] Introduction to the Open Clip Art Library

[Jon Phillips]

On Thu, 2005-06-30 at 00:40 -0700, Bryce Harrington wrote:
> Hi Jon,
> 
> On Wed, Jun 29, 2005 at 10:37:44PM -0700, Jon Phillips wrote:
> > Hello, I posted this writing on my site and would like to get some
> > feedback from you all. Please check out and make some suggestions. If
> > you edit the actual file, please make changes colored red please so I
> > can see what is happening. I'm trying to get this out in the next day or
> > so, so any kind of feedback, or deep editing is great.
> > 
> > Also, I need general checking of the info in the writing to make sure
> > its accurate.
> > 
> > Here is the info on the article: http://rejon.org/?p=68#comments
> > 
> > http://rejon.org/writings/svgopen2005/paper.sxw
> > 
> > http://rejon.org/writings/svgopen2005/paper.pdf
> > 
> > Thanks,
> > 
> > Jon
> 
> Nice work!  I can contribute some feedback on it:
> 
> * "also called the Library" - actually I think we refer to it more as
>   "OCAL" than "the Library" ;-)
> * "an general" - "a general"
> * "rewarding contributors" - we don't actually reward anyone, so perhaps
>   it'd be better to say "enabling users to become contributors" or
>   something? 
> * Fedora Corea -> Fedora Core
> * exampl -> example
> * The Community section needs to be copyedited, especially the first
>   couple paragraphs
> * It would be nice to elaborate a bit more on the motivations of the
>   typical OCAL contributor.  Also, what characteristics typify the
>   contributors?  Do they submit just one image or many?  Why do they
>   contribute?  How long does it take to learn how to contribute?  Do the
>   librarians also contribute a lot of clipart, or are the roles really
>   separate? 
> * In the roadmap, I think it would be worth elaborating a bit on Greg
>   Steffensen's plans; explain what the Google Summer of Code is, and a
>   bit about Greg's proposal.
> * Some details in the roadmap section sound like they belong earlier on
>   in the paper.  For instance, the item about where www.openclipart.org
>   comes from should go in the section describing the early history of
>   the project.
> 
> Also, I would suggest including some text about how and why the user
> should get involved.  I like to always think from the perspective of my
> idealized reader and what they might be after: If it's targeted at the
> open source community in general I might emphasize how the project will
> make the world better; if it's aimed at potential new hobbiest
> developers I would emphasize the fun and comradery and the personal
> worth you get out of working on such a successful project; if it's aimed
> at corporate types I focus on bottom line aspects, such as the tangible
> benefits their company gains directly.
> 
> Also, I don't know how much time you have for more editing, or if you
> have a certain word or page requirement, but I think you could really
> strengthen the paper by tightening up the wording.  The paper reads very
> smoothly and quite well, so if you have some length requirements or
> don't have time, keep it as is.  But if you have time and can handle
> having it shorter, you might want to go through and see if you can
> rework phrasings a bit to say the same thing, but with fewer words.
> Maybe try to take out a hundred words or so per section.  If this can be
> done, the paper will be punchier and draw the reader through it really
> well.
> 

Thanks Bryce, I used pretty much all of your suggestions and rewrote the
community part pretty much.

Thanks!

Jon

-- 
Jon Phillips

USA PH 510.499.0894
jon at rejon.org
http://www.rejon.org

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