[Clipart] Introduction to the Open Clip Art Library

[Bryce Harrington]

Hi Jon,

On Wed, Jun 29, 2005 at 10:37:44PM -0700, Jon Phillips wrote:
> Hello, I posted this writing on my site and would like to get some
> feedback from you all. Please check out and make some suggestions. If
> you edit the actual file, please make changes colored red please so I
> can see what is happening. I'm trying to get this out in the next day or
> so, so any kind of feedback, or deep editing is great.
> 
> Also, I need general checking of the info in the writing to make sure
> its accurate.
> 
> Here is the info on the article: http://rejon.org/?p=68#comments
> 
> http://rejon.org/writings/svgopen2005/paper.sxw
> 
> http://rejon.org/writings/svgopen2005/paper.pdf
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> Jon

Nice work!  I can contribute some feedback on it:

* "also called the Library" - actually I think we refer to it more as
  "OCAL" than "the Library" ;-)
* "an general" - "a general"
* "rewarding contributors" - we don't actually reward anyone, so perhaps
  it'd be better to say "enabling users to become contributors" or
  something? 
* Fedora Corea -> Fedora Core
* exampl -> example
* The Community section needs to be copyedited, especially the first
  couple paragraphs
* It would be nice to elaborate a bit more on the motivations of the
  typical OCAL contributor.  Also, what characteristics typify the
  contributors?  Do they submit just one image or many?  Why do they
  contribute?  How long does it take to learn how to contribute?  Do the
  librarians also contribute a lot of clipart, or are the roles really
  separate? 
* In the roadmap, I think it would be worth elaborating a bit on Greg
  Steffensen's plans; explain what the Google Summer of Code is, and a
  bit about Greg's proposal.
* Some details in the roadmap section sound like they belong earlier on
  in the paper.  For instance, the item about where www.openclipart.org
  comes from should go in the section describing the early history of
  the project.

Also, I would suggest including some text about how and why the user
should get involved.  I like to always think from the perspective of my
idealized reader and what they might be after: If it's targeted at the
open source community in general I might emphasize how the project will
make the world better; if it's aimed at potential new hobbiest
developers I would emphasize the fun and comradery and the personal
worth you get out of working on such a successful project; if it's aimed
at corporate types I focus on bottom line aspects, such as the tangible
benefits their company gains directly.

Also, I don't know how much time you have for more editing, or if you
have a certain word or page requirement, but I think you could really
strengthen the paper by tightening up the wording.  The paper reads very
smoothly and quite well, so if you have some length requirements or
don't have time, keep it as is.  But if you have time and can handle
having it shorter, you might want to go through and see if you can
rework phrasings a bit to say the same thing, but with fewer words.
Maybe try to take out a hundred words or so per section.  If this can be
done, the paper will be punchier and draw the reader through it really
well.

Hope this helps,
Bryce